Accent Envy

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The Day Accent Envy Was Legally Born

I was so excited to start a blog that I didn't know where to start or what to say. So, I thought that I would start by telling a story of the day I was given an alter ego, Accent Envy. (I call it my altar ego because at tax time I have to file as two separate people.)

Note: I have no ill feelings toward government workers, my mother is one. Everyone has bad days and I have no idea what they had been through prior to my arrival. Just want to tell my story.

I will always remember the day I officially had two names. I walked into the Courthouse where I live. There were three women sitting at desks. I received the dreaded "I know you're here, but I'm not looking at you, because then I need to help you," treatment. You know what I'm talking about. I pulled out the papers I needed and pretended to clear my throat. After a few tries and no response, I began hacking up a lung. Still no attention! "Excuse me," I announced. "Hold on, honey. I'll get wich ya," one of the ladies, in her Cajun accent, finally addressed, still not looking at me. So, I sat down. After hours of counting all of the specks in that old 70s tile that was so popular to place in commercial businesses, I heard someone take a deep breath and sigh. (Okay, it wasn't hours, but I really wanted to make it to the bank before they closed.) The lady walked over to the counter. "Whatcha here for?" I finally get some eye contact, but that was it for the rest of our encounter. "I need to officially declare my business name," I proudly stated handing her the tax documents and temporary occupational license. "Did ya do this, this, and this?" she said sifting through the papers. "Umm. Yes. You are holding my proof." I gave her the benefit of the doubt that perhaps she can't see without the glasses she had nowhere in sight. "You need to fill out this form and get it notarized," she declared as she preceded to hand me a form that I had already filled out, had it notarized, and handed to her originally. She raced back to her chair and sat down. "Miss, I already filled out the form and gave it to you." This time, I calmly took a deep breath. "Oh." She got up and dragged her feet as she walked back to the desk. She looked at the paper. She told me that there was a fee and they only accept cash, no checks or credit cards, and then proceeded to tell me where the nearest ATM was. "I have cash." I pulled out my money and handed it to her. "Well, someone did her homework," she announced. I half-smiled knowing that I had been in there about a thousand times getting papers and learning what needed to be done. She walked back to her desk, typed away at her computer, and grabbed something out of the printer. "Here ya go, honey. This is what ya need to get a business bank account." "Thank you for your help" I said. I smiled and turned away. And, that is how my alter ego was legally declared Accent Envy. Couldn't live without those government workers!


Monica Crowe said...

Hey Accent Envy, I heart your shop!

AccentEnvy said...

Thank you. I will heart yours as well.

Violet said...

Cute blog! Now you just have to get in the habit of 'blogging'... which I am still having a hard time doing. hehe =D